Addiction and subtraction.

I was thinking about quitting something and it made me think of it as an addiction which lead to me thinking about all of my other addictions.

But my addictions are not something I feel bad about. I am more excited about them. They exist as excitements. I love them. I may be addicted to love.

An obvious one is smoking. I adore smoking. I'm not trying to recruit more smokers or anything but, for me, smoking is lovely. Even if I smoke too much one night, I'm only thinking about it the next morning -- when I light up another cigarette. I like having something to do at parties or at least an excuse to go outside. I like the people I meet whilst smoking. I like watching smoke come out of my mouth. I like the smell. I like trying different brands and flavors. I like sharing cigarettes. But one day I'll quit. It's not a big deal.

I don't think I'm addicted to sex but I am definitely excited about it. I like, obviously, doing it but I also like everything leading up to and afterwards and how each experience is different. Having dinner or going out and then coming home to have sex is pretty basic but helping a guy carry his drum set up 4 flights of stairs and then having sex is exciting. I like not knowing if someone will cuddle after. I dislike when they don't. I wonder about people snoring or talking in their sleep. I wonder how being next to someone will affect my sleep. I like thinking about what someone would like, what would excite them. I like experimenting with new bodies and seeing what I like best. I hope I am always so open for it.